


It Gets Better

by roots_symphony



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-03
Updated: 2016-11-03
Packaged: 2018-08-28 19:43:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8460553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roots_symphony/pseuds/roots_symphony
Summary: This is kind of a quick introspection into Erin from how she was when she first started getting haunted, to how she was at the ended of the movie.





	

 

 

Erin Gilbert was eight years old when she lost her faith in the world, in people, in herself. Each night she spent trembling, alone to face a punishment for a crime she’s never quite sure she even committed, just strengthened this loss. Until all that was left of herself was a husk of a once happy child. So much of her became just a shell that her own personal ghost found her no longer worthy of haunting. How could it haunt someone who was already so dead?

She doesn’t talk about that first year much, if ever at all. But she still so clearly remembers the transition. She can still remember being that happy child with so much trust and love to give. Although thinking back on it never feels quite as real to her, like she’s watching a movie of someone else’s life and being told it’s hers. She can remember that sweet girl, but she has no connection left to her.

The first two months of her nightmare slowly ripped that part of her away. Every night she’d pray for it to all be over, to be safe, and happy. The third month brought on the desire for someone, _any_ one, to believe her, to help her. By the start of the fourth month, she confessed to another in her desperate need for comfort and support. It didn’t take her long to realize her mistake, and by the fifth and sixth month, she no longer had any friends left to play with during recess. The seventh month led to her discovering all the best hiding spots in school and figuring out just how much time she could spend in the bathroom before an administrator would come looking. In the eighth month, she’d learned to perfect each lie, each smile, each laugh. Happy children didn’t get sent to therapy. Happy children didn’t make up ghosts. So, she started off the ninth month with a vow to be happy, and over the next two months she taught herself how to shove down all her emotions until even she was no longer sure of what she was really feeling. And when her ghost finally stopped appearing, she had no emotions left to give.

That was how Abby found her. Years later. This empty body that had to have once contained a soul. Rumors and speculation surrounded Erin in this impenetrable fog that Abby couldn’t help but find fascinating. Abby had always been her own type of outcast, a fact she’d learned to embrace as best she could, but the more she learned of the scrawny girl with the vacant eyes, the more she thought that having at least just one friend wouldn’t be so bad. Plus, she’d always liked mysteries. And Erin, she knew, would be the saddest mystery she’d solved yet.

Only she wasn’t, because Erin’s always been a good liar when it came to her feelings, and it’s hard for a kid who grew up on mysteries to see anything past the mystery of the afterlife. And maybe things would've been different if only Erin would have opened up just a little more, if only Abby would have looked just a little further past the haunting to the trauma it left. But Erin saw a real-life ghost and Abby believed her, and just like that it was settled. It became so easy to fall into the thought that it’d always been the two of them. It was so easy to pretend that they’d never really been alone. Warmth slowly returned to Erin’s eyes, and Abby strength steadily grew. It’s a thrilling, intoxicating feeling when you finally have someone after being alone for so long.

But even the purest of friendships can get tainted with the poison of fear. That day that Erin left, she was sure she’d never have anyone in her life like Abby again. She went back to a lesser version of her dead-eyes and fixed smile, and she forced herself to be okay with her life. The day that Erin left, Abby swore she’d never let another get so close. She was good as a loner, better even. She wouldn’t allow herself to fall like that again.

And yet, they both still found themselves here. Together once more. With a close family of friends and their belief in ghosts justified (and fully funded). As they look out over the city lights singing their praises, Erin reaches over to entwine her hand with Abby’s. And when Abby looks at her, there’s a brightness in Erin’s eyes she’s sure was never there before, and she’s certain she’s never seen anyone look quite so beautiful. Smiles so wide on both their faces that their cheeks are starting to hurt, and Erin wishes she could snapshot this one moment in time to give to her eight-year-old self. To have grown up with it as a beacon of hope that for all that pain, all that heartache, all the lies and fake smiles, she’ll still someday end up here, at this point. For all those times she’d thought she’d never be okay again, she wants to tell that scared little girl that it will get better. With Patty’s arm wrapped secure around her shoulders, she looks to Abby’s illuminated face once more as Holtzmann’s laughter sounds in the background, and she can’t help thinking that if it ended with her here, then maybe it was worth it after all.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Do you ever have one of those days where you just really relate with that "I just have a lot of feelings" character from Mean Girls? Because that was me today, and though I have other stuff I definitely need to be doing, I just also really needed to get my emotions out in someway so this is kinda my emotional word vomit and hopefully it's not as much of a mess as I'm thinking it might be. Also, I started this with the intention of writing the new chapter of my Tolbert fic, but it just went too dark for what I have planned out and was way more Yatesbert centric, so instead I made it it's own thing and will work on the other one tomorrow night when I'll hopefully be in a more fluffy mindset. Just letting you guys know in case any of you are reading that one as well.
> 
> Oh, and I make gifs too! So if you guys have any lyrics or quotes or something you want to see applied to Ghostbusters or it's ships but don't want to actually go through the process of making them yourselves, then you can send them to me and I'd be happy to do it :) I've already made a [Yatesbert gifset](http://roots-symphony.tumblr.com/post/152551612573/i-wont-keep-watching-you-dance-around-in-your), and I wanna do more so it'd be cool if you guys wouldn't mind helping me think of ideas. I ship all the Erin ships, but I'd be happy to make gifsets for other ships too, or just for the whole team in general, or even just a focus on one of the characters. Basically I just want to create stuff, so if you have any ideas and maybe liked how I did my yatesbert gifset, then feel free to send them to me ^.^ Oh, my tumblr's [roots-symphony](http://roots-symphony.tumblr.com/), by the way.
> 
> Sorry for the long AN.. I ramble. I'm working on it. But, I hope you liked this! And if you don't mind, I'd really appreciate it if you please let me know what you think :)


End file.
